Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize