Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
