Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
