I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
