is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
