On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
