thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
