Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
