Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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