Well apparently he's into motor boating.
no, he came in my armpit
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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