have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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