Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
