I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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