the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
