You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
