so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
