I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
do nipples grow back?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
