There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
