I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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