your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm just crazy horny about you
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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