I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
