walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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