Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
