No awkward lesbian experiences without me
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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