Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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