belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I wear drunk well.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
