Dual....:-)
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
