He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
