it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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