saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
