I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
