It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
