Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
