nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
