Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
