Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
