Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
