Michael Bay diarrhea
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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