In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
