Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize