they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
