Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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