So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize