Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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