Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
