Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
