i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
