Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
