lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
