break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
