I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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