you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
