No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
