Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
