those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
