Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
