i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
