She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
