I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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