Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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