you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
