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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
