can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
