So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
