Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
