it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
