The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
