I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
