i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize